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Building Self-Esteem: The Steps To Success

By Scott Wardell

Self-esteem is just that...SELF esteem! Self refers to the person who owns or possesses his or her own esteem. Is it possible to build someone else's esteem? Parents, educators and child psychology and behavioral specialist have all pondered that question. Here are some self-esteem factors for parents to consider.

Signs That Your Child Has Poor Self-Esteem

  • Your child gives up easily or quits soon signing up for an activity.
  • Your child seldom gives him or herself credit when doing something well.
  • Your child often makes negative statement about him or herself.
  • Your child often makes negative statements about others.
  • You child avoids trying something new.
  • Your child often makes excuses.
  • Your child often blames others when something does not go right.
  • You child makes statements that the worst is about to happen.
  • Your child says he or she is not "in the popular group."

Some Solutions To Help Your Child Build Positive Self-Esteem

Encourage your child to pay compliments to him or herself by modeling that behavior. Say, "I like the way you passed the ball to others during the game." Rather than, "Not everyone can be a good soccer player." Encourage your child to use positive self-talk. Example: "I like myself." "I am good at _______."

Catch your child doing something good. Let your child know what you saw or heard. For every one negative statement you make toward your child, you have to share ten positive comments or compliments. Keep track. As parents, we may not realize how many negative statements we make.

Begin to share with your child how unique he or she is. Share things like: "You are the only boy I see that smiling all the time." "You clean the dishes better than anyone I know. How do you do this?" "Why is it so easy for you to help me. Not many kids your age can do that."

Help your child to set goals.

Teach your child that it's not uncommon for a person who sets a goal not to reach or achieve the goal the first time. "It's okay to fail, but it's not okay to quit." When your child fails, help him or her to set a new goal. Make sure the goal is realistic and achievable. Don't set goals that are overwhelming. Set small goals first. Work on bigger goals after success is achieved.